waiting.. yes man

Next summer I will be renting a cabin with my brother Jared, His girl his kids and Friends. I need some people to share cabin expence with. It will be great and everyone is invited. Will have this cabin for 2 weeks. Up in douglas Mass. There are 3 cabins and our private lake entrence. We will occupy all 3 cabins.

The planning of this vacation has made me relieze that All I have to look forward to in life is these 2 weeks in the midst of next summer where I will be in the woods in my cabin. Drinking, swimming, and sharing campfire melodies with friends I hardly remember. The rest of my life has become very stagnate. The moments of joy I get are when I have things penciled in my schedule, or the short periods where I pull off a stall while playing hacky sac. Other things I look forward to are watching Football, and talking about Lost. Have I gotten old?. Is there any remedy for this. Is it ok to not want to get wasted and stay up for all hours of the night? Is it ok to miss the nights where I did? When do I figure out what is the meaning of life? Would that take place on my death bed. Are we all just taking up space until then. Until its to late. All entangled in some sort of competition to be the one to commit the least ammount of regrets. Does it help to be rich? Smart? or Attractive? If your older than 25 and still in shape your now the minority. The rest of us have gotten fat. And it is suddenly ok to be out of shape, Its ok to turn 30. At 18 we told ourselves these things would not be ok. Suddenly Its ok to fill our days with the smallest minutia or daily drama to keep the conversations going. The conversation that we are all starving for, afraid that we will turn into one of those couples that waits for death together. With nothing more to say, then some comments over the weather, or the same minutia we have suddenly come to grips with as being what is our so called lifes. Maybe I shouldnt blog at 2:15 am. I have gotten really lazy. I have so much time, yet can not find the time to do simple task. Like, clean my room. Write a song, go shopping. I want to write a book. I have an idea. I want to start a band. But cant find the time. I want to get better at golf. I dont play enough. I want to be happy at work, and I try hard at this but it will never work until I find a new job. I want to do all these things, but I cant. I have nothing holding me back. Like I said I have just become lazy. Wheres my motivation? Will i find it in the form of a lady? Maybe we are all just waiting. At least all of us who are lazy. If we are in a race to the end, with the least ammount of regrets. I dont think that I will win. Im glad I went to yellowstone. Im glad I have met great people. I want to become the yes man. Like Jim carey in this movie. Yes.